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[]===[What A Waster|)>------
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[11 Sep 2007|08:15pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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music |
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Wish You Were Here~Pink Floyd |
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Everything feels realllllll fucked up lately.
I'm getting super depressed.
I'm working 5-C permanently at Olgas now Monday-Thursday.
I have school in the mornings those days.
That gives me a total of 1 1/2 hours to do school work.
Not good. Not good at all.
I'm trying so hard to do well in school, but I feel like it's useless.
My weekends are the only thing I look forward to because I get to spend time with some of my friends and I get to see Colin.
A lot of shit that's happened in the past is starting to STRONGLY creep up on me.
I've developed some new problems due to a past situation that almost everyone knows about now.
My new issue though no one knows about except for 5 people.
And that's all.
Those 5 people are the only 5 people that need to know.
This issue is becoming a HUGE hasel because everytime I go to try and fix it....
It won't let me.
I've tried so many times to make it go away.
And it feels like I'm always going to have it.
I hate this.
I just want it to go away.
My parents have been trying to get me to move out for almost 3 months now.
It's getting pretty rediculous.
Everytime I come home they're trying to kick me out.
Today, I finally had a day without work.
My first Monday since College started that I finally get to stay home.
But no. Today's been another one of those horrible days.
I tried fixing my issue again, dwelling on it, but it once again doesn't want to be fixed.
I'm kinda fucked up.
Then my Dad see's the roof of my car.
Fucking great, more yelling and screaming.
Then I try to leave, but it seems I've lost my car keys.
Spent 2 hours trying to find them but they just won't appear.
Another shitty day in the life of Ashley.
I hate feeling like this. I haven't felt like this since I was with Matt.
Just hating myself everyday.
I don't want to feel like this.
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| How I spent my days since WEDNESDAY! |
[26 Aug 2007|01:55pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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SCHMEH! |
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Soooo....
***Wednesday***
-My birthdayyyyy
-Got my nose pierced and Colin got his cartiladge pierced
-Bought some handcuffs and panties from naughty time :)
-Got my first pack of cigs
-Attempted to find the Hayloft...yeah just got lost for about an hour
-Came back to drink...got caught...dad emptied out all the liquor
-Luckily some how I still managed to get drunk :)
**Thursday**
-Hung out w/ Colin :)
-Went to Chris's with Jason for a bon fire
-Met Brittany..she's sweet as hell and an amazing girl :D!
-Got drunkkkk
-Had wayyyy too much fun
-Jumped on the Trampoline :)
-Stayed the night at Jason's
***Friday***
-Went to the strip club!!!!! :D!!!!!
-One of the best nights of my life
-I kept being told how cute I was by 4 strippers
-One told me that I was hot and thought i was a stripper
-That same girl tried ripping my shirt off saying "I showed you mine you show me yours!" And then went between my legs
and kissed and licked me. I was freaking outttt!!!!! lol
-Another one looked like a porn star, kept saying how I was cute, and pulled my hair as she was coming off stage
-Colin bought us a couples lap dance haha :)
-Colin and I bought Jason a lap dance from the stripper that tried ripping my shirt off
-Talked to some strippers...they were all really nice
-People were trying to convince me to come to Servers night this wednesday lol and strip in the contest and try to win $500
-An old man kept giving me singles to put in girls panties and told me I was cute
-And incase you were wondering....we were drunk
-I went with Chris Jason and Colin...Chris was the DD, but I'm pretty sure he still had fun
**Saturday**
-My cousins wedding
-Got drunk with Colin lol
-Danced very very little
-Had a decent time
-Went to Keiths grad party
-Him, me, Colin, and Danny all stayed the night
-Was a pretty fun night
**Last night**
-Went and helped Colin pick out some kickass swim suites. :)
-Took him out to dinner and Cheese Burger and Paradise....YUM YUM YUM!
-Hung out with Chris Colin and Brittany
-Went to Starbucks, saw Jamesy Poo and Brian
-Danced in the parking lot to techno with everyone watching us
-We got recorded by some sweet guys
-It was so much fun :D!
-Went to some guys bon fire. I think his name was Neil??
-Talked with Chris Colin and Brittany pretty much the whole time
-Got drunk that night too
-Went back to Chris's to watch a movie
-Came home and slept
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| So yeah. |
[22 Aug 2007|05:17pm] |
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mood |
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Feeling Like An Asshole |
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music |
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Moldy Peaches~Nothing Came Out |
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I definately feel like an ass hole.
My friends don't want to hang out with me tonight.
And I really don't blame them.
When I get like this, all I want to do is drive around and listen to emo music.
But can't do that either.
Cuz I don't have a car.
Good bye to Jackie.
I hope you have fun in Cali.
I love you and I hope your drive is a safe one.
Sorry that b/c of my ass holeness
I can't see you tonight. :/
Call me when you get back and we'll get together maybe.
Maybe not b/c you'll probably want to see Brad Meg and Ben.
And I feel like I'm not going to be invited to that stuff anymore.
Cuz I'm fucking dumb and screwed that up.
And I won't be invited esspecially without Colin, so thats done with too I guess.
Sorry for everything guys.
Everyone have a great summer.
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| How I spent MY 666! |
[07 Aug 2007|11:21am] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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music |
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One True Thing~Watch You Fall |
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So yesterday was Satans holiday.
While everyone was out seeing The Omen...
Jackie, Kyle, Bradley and I decided to be different and sweet..
We went to pick up Bradley, and Jackie had no idea where she was going
So she made a right onto Cass instead of a left.
So since we were going to the Clem anyways, I had a brilliant idea to go to the Che Coffee Shop.
Well Bradley and I were both so sure of where it was SEVERAL times that we got everyone lost lmfao.
Then when we finally got there, we realised that we were parked in front of it the entire time lmfao!
So we go in, and the lady who was working made us the most AMAZING COFFEE CREATION EVER!!!
It was some Hazelnut Cherry Frozen drink and it was INCREDIBLE!
But you can't order it, it was specially made for us. :)
Then we went to Blockbuster b/c Kyle had to be home by 11.
When we got there, we ran into Jimmy Wagner.
Well being the amazing person I am, I invited him to come watch movies with us at my house since he was just going to watch movies alone.
Yes I know, I'm so kewl. I don't really know the kid, but I invite him over lol.
So we all rented Stay and Wolf Creek and came back to my house to watch 'em.
Well I started a little water war with Kyle which was fun.
We watched Stay which was an AMAZING movie. :)
And then everyone left.
It was quite random b/c Jimmy is my new friend now.
We exchanged numbers and he's going to walk with me down commencements! :D!
FINALLY I FOUND SOMEONE!
And I pretty much made Kyle the happiest boy in the world tonight by inviting him.
I am sucha good friend. :)
I had a splendid night last night. Thanks to Jackie, Bradley, Kyle, and Jimmy for making my 666 successful.
:D!
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| SENIOR PROM '06!!! |
[21 Jul 2007|05:20pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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MSI~Prom |
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Prom was simply amazing.
That's all I can really say.
By far one of the best nights of my life
And one of my fondest memories for senior year.
I'm so glad that my senior prom was sucha success
And was definately not at all a disappointment.
It ended up being better than I had imagined.
I love my friends.
They are all the most amazing people in the world.
Your all wonderful.
Picture time!!! :D!
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| .... |
[30 Jun 2007|02:00pm] |
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mood |
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 irritated |
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music |
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The Decemberists~The Engine Driver |
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So my parents tried sending me to the mental institution yesterday.
They think everytime that I cry, that I'm insane.
What the hell kind of parents are they?!
They see their daughter crying histerically b/c they won't listen or talk to her
And they automatically assume that she's lost her mind.
The sad part is...
This isn't the first time they tried sending me to a mental home.
I wish I WAS seeing a psychiatrist.
That way she/he could tell my parents that I'm not the crazy one...
They are.
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| Fun times |
[27 Jun 2007|11:37pm] |
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 tired |
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music |
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The Afters~Beautiful Love |
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I had a lovely night with these two. :)
Good times.
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| LMFAO!!! |
[27 Jun 2007|05:24pm] |
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mood |
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 embarrassed |
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music |
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Bubba Sparxxx~Ms. New Booty (STEPH HILL!!) |
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Something funny happened today!
Mr. Rowzee was asking every person in the class what type of lifestyle they wanted to live once they find the person they want to spend the rest of their life with.
Either alternative..which would be either to be living with the person, but not married, or being married and not wanting kids...or traditional which would be getting married and having kids.
Well he'd ask everyone the question right before he wanted them to read.
Well of course we finish reading RIGHT when it gets to me.
So I yell in class, "Mr. Rowzee! You don't want to hear about how I want my life to turn out?!?!"
And I said it in a very very disappointed voice and he started laughing really really hard.
Then he stopped the whole class for me so I could answer the question.
I told him that I wanted an alternative lifestyle. I want to be married, but I don't really want kids. I'd rather travel and enjoy life b/c I can't even take care of myself right now. (I'll probably end up with kids by the time I'm 30 though.)
And he yells, "ERIK!! ARE YOU WRITTING THIS DOWN?!"
And everyone just bursts out laughing and Erik and I were basically dying.
We both turned bright red and could NOT stop laughing.
Then I asked Mr. Rowzee what he would do if Erik Mayor and I came back in 10 years and we really were married.
And he said "There's no doubt in my mind, that will happen. And when it does I'll remind you of this day."
It was soooooo funny!
I <3 Mr. Rowzee.
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| In case you didn't know... |
[22 Jun 2007|12:41am] |
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annoyed |
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This is why Ashley hates boys.
The right boy never calls.
I recieved like 8 phone calls from one boy.
One from another boy.
A text message from the most RANDOM boy....
Most of them just wanted to hook up.
FUCK THAT! NOOOOO WAYYYY!!!
And of course the boy I want to talk to?
Doesn't call.....
OF COURSE!!
That's how it ALWAYS works out.
Fuck boys.
You all suck.
This is why Ashley hates boys.
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| I don't know what I did.... |
[19 Jun 2007|10:05am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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Counting Crows~Colorblind |
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I wish you didn't find me to be such a horrible person.
I have no idea what I did to you that would make you say such awful things about me to other people.
I have no idea why you are always so mad at me, and most of all I have no idea why YOU won't tell ME when your mad at me.
I'm sick of hearing people tell me "Oh! She's been saying a lot of shit about you." "She's so pissed at you." "She hates you right now."
I want to hear it from you.
I'm sick of hearing all of these things RIGHT before I'm going to hang out with you too.
I feel so awkward whenever I'm around you.
I don't know what to say.
Or do.
Because you'll pretend to be so nice to me, but then afterwards all I hear is, "She's so mad at you."
I used to call you one of my best friends.
And I don't know if I can still call you that.
I've done so much for you, and you've done a lot for me too.
I don't understand where I went wrong.
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| MY FRIENDSSSSSSS!!!! :D!!! |
[05 Jun 2007|03:43pm] |
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excited |
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The Afters~Beautiful Love |
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Everything has been kinda crazy lately. I'm liking it for the most part :)! I never realized how much I missed these people that I've been spending so much time with AKA Rachel Lane, Megan Bielawski, Jackie Kovacs, Samantha Garmen, and all you other amazing people who I started hanging out w/ a LOT more all over again. I'm also really greatful for being able to meet these INCREDIBLE people that I've been spending a lot of time with as well. I love all of you guys. Your all amazing. <33
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| ALEKTHEKJTHEKJH!!!!! |
[23 May 2007|10:14pm] |
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unearth~Failure |
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In just 1 hour and 41 minutes and 30 seconds I will be UNGROUNDED!!!!! WOOOOT WOOOOOT!!! And I get to chill w/ some sweet ass people too!! :D!! BB?
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| PARTYYYYY!!!!! |
[18 May 2007|01:07pm] |
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mood |
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Atreyu |
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So my party turned out to be sweet as hell. Some awesome people came: Colin, Chris, Jason, Jackie, Missy, James, Rachel, Sam, Megan, Danny S (who was my favorite person last night), Chris, Kieth, Tim, and his friends Darrell, James, Tommy, and Brett were all there. Plus Zack, Chad, Erin, Leanne, Danny, Tasha, and like 5 other kids I didn't know showed up for like 10 min. I can't even tell you how much fun I had. Of course, with every fun party, you have some type of disaster, but I'll get into that in a second. Anyways, here are some pictures of the people who came....
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| HELL YEAH BITCHES!!! |
[17 May 2007|05:44pm] |
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excited |
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The Unicorns~Child Star |
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AND IT'S TONIGHTTTT!!!! sjrksekjtbrsjktbrtk SOOOO EXCITED!! :D!!!
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| ksjdtgreauitgthu!!! |
[16 May 2007|09:39pm] |
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Dancing!!! |
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Straylight Run~Existentialism on Prom Night |
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Soooo Erik Mayor (yes I know it's Maier but leigh and I call him Mayor so SCREW OFF!) did an AMAZING job tonight singing Existentialism on Prom Night. He almost made Leigh and myself cry b/c he did so fucking GOOD!!! He made me smile the entire time and at the end Leigh and I stood up and cheered for him. Now BOTH of us are looking SOOOOO forward to his show on Saturday night. ERIK MAYOR KICKS ASS!!!
On another note, JOE SCARB WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS!!! oisafhwieurhiu3griugu!!! He was soooooo funny. He reminded me of Dane Cook up there. But why would I be surprised!?!?! Joe Scarb is just a funny kid. He's the shit and more!
Well that was the Variety show. Peace out boys and girls!! :D!!
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| Another good day! |
[14 May 2007|11:20pm] |
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mood |
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 good |
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music |
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Wilco |
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Today was another pretty sweet day. I am officially COMPLETELY blonde now. I love it, my mom hates it. Everyone else seems to like it so I'm happy with that. Saw Rachel, Jackie, Sam, and Rachel's friend Cam who was really nice. We all hung around my house and then went off to Starbucks. Cam was kind of quiet at first but started opening up a little bit in my car. Then he shocked me by hugging me, jackie, and sam before he left. That was really nice of him. Then I went off to Corey's house for like an hour and that was pretty fun. Originally I was supposed to go to the movies w/ Rachel, Cam, and Alex, but Alex lives in Royal Oak and I would've had to pick him up and we wouldn't have been able to make the movie on time. Hopefully I get to see him before he leaves. Well that was my day. :) Hope you had fun too.
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| HAPPY!!! |
[13 May 2007|08:19pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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Underoath |
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I am really happy right now, and I shouldn't be. I just spent the most amazing time with two of the most incredible girls ever. I went to Starbucks with Rachel and Jackie and we sat and talked about our ex's for like an hour and a half. It was so nice to just talk to them. I feel like I am growing so much closer to them all over again. It makes me sad to think that we drifted apart in the first place. Then we went to Marcos??? Some hair place and found a LOT of nice hair treatments for ourselves. THEN Mr. Kyle Kijorski (I love that boy) called me up and told me that I am invited to do this prom fashion runway show deal w/ him!!! I was SOOOO excited!! We get to go on March 20th to figure out the details, but I'm SOOOO excited. And tomorrow will be amazing too b/c Rachel, Jackie and myself are hanging out again, I'm getting my hair dyed, and I am taking Kyle to the mall after school to have his interviews at Express and Abercrombie. It was a good departing feeling though after Rachel and Jackie and I departed. Rachel looked at us and said she was currently really happy considering the cercumstances, Jackie looked at me and was just as happy as I was about gaining everything back and feeling like we could do ANYTHING. I love this feeling right now.
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| It happened. |
[13 May 2007|03:47pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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The Unicorns~William, Clap Your Hands |
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So I am officially single now....
Don't ask me about this b/c I don't want to talk about it just yet.
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| ET scares the HELL out of me!!! |
[05 May 2007|10:07pm] |
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mood |
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anxious |
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music |
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The Unicorns~Ready To Die |
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Okay, so since I've been watching The Oscars they kept on showing Steven Spielburg. Well here's a little embarasing secret about me that none of you probably know...
I AM TERRIFIED OF ET!!!
When I was younger, I had a horrible nightmare that ET stabbed my Mom a bajillion times, killing her and so I punched him and he turned into a million little pieces, but then managed to pull himself together and bring himself back to life. Ever since I've REFUSED to watch that movie. I've only seen the beginning of it when I was 6 years old. The sad part was, I had this ET statue that my Aunt got me, and it sat on my dresser. Well I made my parents turn it around so it wouldn't look at me b/c I was SOOOO terrified of it.
So now....I'm going to conquer my fear. I am going to see ET. Who wants to help me face my fear???
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| WEEEEEEEE!!!! |
[05 May 2007|02:18am] |
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mood |
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hyper |
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music |
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The White Stripes~Blue Orchid |
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Okay, so as of tonight, my new favorite thing to do is dance around my entire house while listening to my Ipod at 2:18 AM.
Just because.
P.S. My time on this Livejournal is BEYOND messed up.
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